Expedition How. To. Not. Grow. Mad.
What happens when you put 2 adults, a dog and a 8 year old child boy in a camper and start to travel around Europe?
1. They grow mad and get lost.
2. They grow mad, get lost and go back home.
3. They grow mad, get lost, find each other back, keep on trying and
slowly find their pace, track and place.
Guess what's the answer that fits us? Actually I am not sure yet myself. Right now, I ‘d choose 1...
So Yes. I am on an Expedition. And an Expedition it is, with my partner and 8 year old son. A quest. How to live together in a way that serves us all? Fortunately, my doggie Luna is a true example of completely radically accepting whatever is. She is the only sane one among us, I would say. Then, suddenly, in a moment of brightness, I found myself in that place of radical acceptance. How come? Well; I had this insight:
‘Where there is trust and acceptance, learning and change happens naturally’. Homeschooling is part of our journey., so ‘education’ is a theme. Micha (8) is with us, which means he is not going to a formal school this year. I brought books from NL, for instance to do maths and to practice his hand writing. Leaving NL I was feeling very responsible for his ‘education’. I do not know yet where he will be in the next school year or what school he will be attending; all I could think of is ‘he should be able to do this and that by then…’ 'In case he would go back to the ‘Vrije School’, he needs to be at a certain level’, was what I was thinking. Those thoughts were not only putting a lot of pressure on me, I realised; they were putting pressure on Micha, even though I did not express them! It was in my body language, in the energy I carried with me. This brought him and me a lot of frustrations. And the painful thing is, Micha then said to himself ‘I’m so dumb, I cannot even do this’ (he spoke about his maths). So painful to hear, because all I want is to do is to support growth. Micha saying to himself ‘I’m dumb’ does not contribute to growth, nor learning. I forgot! I
forgot and THANK God I remembered! I remembered that the ideal space to learn and grow is where there is trust and acceptance for who I am and where I am, for who he is and where he is. An old habit popped up; thinking that I am responsible for Micha’s learning. That I am
responsible for his life, his happiness. My God, what a burden that is. To be responsible for somebody elses happiness. I suffered from depression because of that belief and now I was back on that path!
So, yesterday I was thrown back to my feet, deeply realising I am responsible for my own life and happiness and that all I can do is contribute in the way that supports him. And that is different from what I think he needs. The difference is to listen, truly listen. Giving him to space express
and reach out, and support him in finding his path. What a greater gift can I give him than that? What a greater gift can I give myself, my children, the world, than to find my own path in life and allow them to find theirs? I trust Micha will learn a lot and exactly what he needs to learn this year. He has his own life to live. So I’m back on track. Back in connection to what it true and real for me. And it’s a relief. Let’s go back to that first question: What happens when you put 2 adults, a dog and a 8 year old child boy in a camper and start to travel around Europe? Now I would choose 3: ‘They grow mad, get lost, find each other back, keep on trying and slowly (slowly!) find their pace, track and place’. I am Floortje and I am traveling with my partner Bart and my 8 year old son throughout Europe in a camper. We are on an Expedition; an expedition with the intention to live Nonviolent communication and Yoga in our every day lives. We also want to share NVC and Yoga by organizing workshops. Our travels turn out to be a true Expedition of Nonviolent Communication; a quest of learning to live and to love, to accept and to be. I get to know Micha and Bart better, as well as myself. I hope to share more with you in the future on this adventure through our lives.
Expedition NVC and Yoga (English)